Oh, it’s Friday. Let’s lighten our tech brains and hearts.
Every week, some new gadget promises to make your life easier. There’s a fine line though between “tech that improves your life” and “tech that ends up in a junk drawer next to the USB lava lamp.”
I ran them through the highly scientific Kim Scale™ so you don’t have to. Let me break down the viral tech everyone’s talking about.
👓 Blue Light Glasses
Claim: Reduce eyestrain and improve sleep by filtering blue light from screens.
Reality: Studies show these glasses might help with sleep, but most digital eyestrain comes from not blinking and staring too long, not blue light itself.
Kim Scale: ★★☆☆☆
Verdict: A little helpful if you’re doomscrolling at night, but don’t expect miracles. Honestly, blinking more often is free. Your move, capitalism.
📴 EMF Blockers
Claim: Shield your body from harmful electromagnetic radiation.
Reality: There’s no solid scientific proof that EMF-blocking stickers or necklaces actually do anything, but they’re big business.
Kim Scale: ☆☆☆☆☆
Verdict: Science and I both say skip it. It’s giving a “tinfoil hat, but make it on Etsy” vibe.
🖥️ Anti-Spy Screen Filters
Claim: Keep people from viewing your screen from side angles.
Reality: These actually work! If you’re checking email at a coffee shop or handling private info on a plane, they’re a smart choice.
Kim Scale: ★★★★☆
Verdict: Privacy win. Good for privacy, or for pretending you’re working when you’re definitely not.
🛏️ The Self-Making Smart Duvet
Claim: Makes your bed with the push of a button.
Reality: This thing literally inflates inside your duvet to straighten your sheets every morning. Cool? Yes. Practical? Depends how lazy you want to get.
Kim Scale: ★★☆☆☆
Verdict: Equal parts impressive and ridiculous. Coming soon: a Roomba that brushes your teeth and tells you you’re special.
🍌 The Banana Phone
Claim: A Bluetooth-enabled banana-shaped handset that lets you make and receive calls.
Reality: Connects to your smartphone via Bluetooth, allowing you to talk into a banana-shaped device.
Kim Scale: ★★★☆☆
Verdict: A-peeling.
Well, there you have it. Is there a killer gadget I should add into the next edition? Let me know by replying to this email. I read every one, even if it says — Sent from Banana Phone.
🤦♀️ Speaking of … I inherited a magic device that floats in the sky and weaves magic carpets. You might say it’s a “family air loom.” (Sometimes I crack myself up writing these!)
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